i suck

screwed up big time... yup! i did really badly for my mid yrs. tomorrow is ptm and i am feel depressed about it. dang! i am always falling in and out of depression these days. i felt really good just a few days before. sigh! life isnt easy at all. i have been highly caffinated these days. yup! i sip on at least 2 cups of coffee plus a diet coke to enrich my body with caffine. i feel really high with the endless amounts. i prob should take up smoking too. hopefully, i will feel better with all these things that i can sit down and study hard for the next 100 days and ace myA levels. far fetched? i gotta agree totally. i feel so ridiculously sick and tired on why i have to explain my actions for doing badly. fuck man! it is my life. i never do well through my last 10 yrs in sch! so why now? gosh.... here goes my depression mode. i am so emotional when i study. why? the stars, moon and sun have to been in the correct position for me to be able to sit there for a long time. it's true. if i wake up late! i just slack the day away. fuck me man! i hate myself.

LIFE IS SUCH A THEATRE. GET ME OUTTA HERE!

so long

everyone is busy doing school work or fretting about stuff. me? i guess as much. so here i am at my auntie's house going to study as soon as i finish bitching abt my life that has zero privacy. (no thanks to the sister). anyway, i practically screwed by mid year exams. nothing is good in my life. just thinking abt the huge amount of work that is mounting worries me so much i feel like giving up everything i have. commit suicide? nah... not at the moment. my life is worth lots! haha...
i shall try my hand at being an excellent student and so forgive me for not blogging.